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Honestly, everyone faces problems in relationship.The only difference is the nature and degree of problems. Here I will give a clear and easy example of the kind of problems I face or have faced.
In my past relationship:
I was in a relation for four years or even more with a guy who was 6 years elder to me. We started dating right after my +2 and he was working at that time. He was a musician who wanted to achieve the best of the best and I just started going to college.
Initially it was nice as dating a musician comes with its own set of perks. However, after a year and a half, all our meetings and fun started getting less and lesser.
2 years of our dating and he couldn’t even tell his parents if he was going out with me. Worse his mom called me one day and thrashed me for encouraging her son to drink, smoke and more. Mind you he developed a stereotypical idea that good music comes only when you get high and sad. We started losing on our good time.
Next when he became unavailable and didn’t even have 5 mins to talk to me properly, I was getting so paranoid and screamed for his attention. I started doing something absolute wrong, started going out with other people to get his attention. This slowly became my habit over the period that whenever he would not give me attention, I’ll start going out with other people.
He used to lie and cheat a lot. I started doing the same. The problem in our relationship was that 2 pessimist and depressed people living to hurt each other and power tripping from that. Both being imaginative had the skill to come with new ideas of emotionally breaking each other. Finally I ended with severe depression and anxiety for which till date I have to take medicine.
After 4 years of the relationship when it ended, I had no feeling because it ceased to exist long time back.
Here our age gap and difference became a problem.
My present relation:
I met him a year or more back and started talking from end of 2016 properly. Interestingly, he too is 6 years and few months elder to me; hence the age gap causes a lot of trouble.
Here they are:
I hate going to gym and he can’t stop being pushy. He doesn’t smoke. I do. That is a huge problem. He can’t stop bragging about me to his family and friends, I’m more of a quite person. He fights if I don’t meet him daily, even if it is for 5 mins where he comes down in front of my I will just have to wave and smile. His problem is he give too much time and attention.
Before I met him,I had this obnoxious habit of getting angry, disturbed, cheating and had no regards for myself. Here the problem is i forgot being happy in a relationship.
However, his optimism made me positive. He always accompanies me for every counselling session and I don’t take nerve medicine regularly anymore.
Of course we still have our differences like I want to rent my reception dress because I’ll just wear it once and no point wasting money for Just 1 day, he hates the idea. I love Marvel, he is from Shaktiman era. I read a lot and honestly he has no books at his place, I like continental and he loves bengali food. The best part is, we love these differences and accept each other.
I like the problems of my relationship, helps me to know that he thinks about every step I take. Sometimes having little issues do bring you together.
If the problems of your relationship is bringing you down, then it’s not worth it. Don’t fight with each other; rather try to talk it out and you will will know a lot more about your relationship.
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